October 2004

"What's a nice Black boy like me doing in a bondage site like this, anyway?" That's a question that I get asked every so often. Not as often as you might think, but still more often than I'd like. So, here's my answer:

"Having fun and learning a lot about myself in the process!"

The racial ramifications of a Black man doing bondage or SM aren't lost on me, I just don't give them much attention. The desire for BDSM, in my opinion and experience, cuts across all racial, gender and orientations divides. I'm not about to get into statistics or psychological theories because I don't know them and what's more, they aren't that important. Not to me, anyway. I don't do this because of any racial memory of my forebears being in bondage. I don't do it to play out and exorcise ghosts from the past. There are some who do and I say more power to them, so long as they're taking that energy and turning it into something positive along the way. I do this because I feel it's in my very nature and it's a way I have to explore myself on the physical plane as well as a way to visit the higher reaches of headspace.

When I first put myself out here on the Net, with DeLano In Distress, I found a very curious thing happening: every so often, I would come across pictures downloaded from my site in the file sections of Yahoo groups that were specifically geared for people who wanted to live out that Ante-bellum slavery scenario. Groups with names such as Mistress Cleopatra's Plantation, Gay White Massa and others would use my images and the images of the dommes who shot with (well, the White ones, anyway) to illustrate the theme and titillate their members. I came across the first group by checking my stats site; there was a link to a message posted to that group, telling members to check out my site for "more of the same". I joined, saw the images they'd lifted from they site and then checked out the links section. Lo and behold, I found a whole slew of similar groups, a few of which also had pictures from my site posted to them.

At first I was a bit outraged at them for lifting and posting them without asking. But then I realized that I'd done the same on an occasion or two, just sharing some great images with like-minded individuals. I came to understand, by reading some of the messages that Blacks and Whites subscribed to these groups and that there was a subculture of people who wanted to go down this road. I'm not one of them, though, and neither are any of the dommes in those posted images. I wrote each group moderator, introduced myself and asked them to remove the images from their group, since their presence there misrepresented me and the women I was shooting with. I told them I understood the impetus behind their groups but didn't want to have my images there. To a person, the moderators apologized and said that they'd remove the pictures and keep members from posting more. Not necessarily folks I'd invite over for dinner but decent enough to understand where I was coming from. I like that about the world.

This brings to mind another interesting incident. This one occurred when I was modeling for the fetish rags. I did my first photo shoot with Misa Martin at Pandora's Box several years ago. We'd never met but she got my number from the publisher I was working for. She needed a model who was professional (meaning a model who would show up and not cop attitude or gawk the dommes at the house). Well, we did this shoot which was pretty standard domme advertising/fetish rag story fare but ended up doing a very artistic set at the very end. Misa set up dramatic lighting and had the domme spit water in my face. We did a few takes with all of us laughing because it was funny - she sometimes lost the water because she was giggling so much. Anyway, it turned out to be a cover shot and it was indeed very dramatic. A year later I was friends with a few of the dommes at Pandora's and was hanging out there. One of them introduced me to another domme who asked me if I was the model who had done that cover shot. When I fessed up, she laughed and told me that cover shot caused quite an uproar there. A lot of the dommes were outraged that the publisher would show a White woman spitting into the face of a Black man.

And here I was thinking it was a cool artistic shot. Just goes to show you: everyone brings something to the table. You can't control anyone's interpretations but your own. Sure, you can educate them after the fact, but that first impression is their own. I can only put the work out there, write the words that I do and share my experiences. What people take away from that sharing is beyond my control. All I can hope for is that people see their way clear to keep an open mind or to talk with me about what I'm presenting here and when I do performances or work at events. Let's share experiences and come to understand each other better.

Namaste,

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