September 2004
CONNECTION. That's what this site is supposed to be all about. Well, it's one of the things this site is supposed to be all about. This is just the opening salvo in a series of explorations about what connection means to me and this site because it's just that important a topic to me. I began my adventure in bondage with the desire to be the next Bettie Page; I wanted to be just like her (except I'm a guy and I'm black and older than she was when she started), to display the fun and campy energy to she did in her photos. What I didn't know was that this desire would lead me straight into the realm of connection. Bettie connected to the camera in a way that's rarely seen in bondage photography these days. She connected so strongly that she pulled the viewer into her world through the camera lens. She intuitively understood the importance of making that connection. I intuitively understood this, too, when I stopped modeling for the fetish rags and magazines. I knew I wanted to make a connection between the rope top, myself and the camera. That's where this site comes in.
It's just as important to me to be able to make a connection to whomever is shooting the images as it is for me to make a connection to the rope top (or rope bottom - eventually). The photographer is the first viewer of the work I do here, a surrogate for you the viewer of this site, and I want to pull the viewer into my world. I want to engage you beyond titillation and "shock value" and connect with you so you can begin to see what I feel when I'm in rope or when I'm in the presence of one of my tops. Putting this particular desire into words is difficult because it can smack of a certain kind of hubris but I think I can avoid that trap and convey to you what's deep in my heart and spirit: that I love rope bondage and that it takes me to places beyond. And that I want you along for the ride. Bettie never delved into the psychological or the spiritual or the physiological aspects of her bondage/fetish work -- but all those aspects were there for us to absorb from, or project onto, her images as we connected with her through the pictures. I understand this fact and so I consciously attempt to display them here because I subconsciously delve into them every time I'm in rope.
Without connection, there is no journey for any of us. It's like setting off on a much-anticipated trip but missing the connecting flight at the airport: everything gets delayed and you're bummed. I've been there literally and metaphorically and neither is any fun. For example, last Christmas I got a gift from Skye and Alana: a play date with the two of them co-topping me. Now, I understand just how busy each of these women are, so I didn't push for scheduling the play date. Months passed before I mentioned getting together. We made a plan for June. This exploded in our faces because of unforeseen scheduling problems. The same thing happened for tentative plans in July and August. We finally had the play date last week (in September). It was well worth the wait (a wonderful dinner followed by two fantastic suspensions) but, wow, was it disappointing to miss that first scheduled date.
So my goal here is to keep making these connections with the rope, the tops, the photographers, the bottoms and, just as importantly, with you. Drop me a line and let me know how I'm doing every now and then. I don't exist in a vacuum, despite the fact that this is my site.
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